Nothing external changes anything internal
"Nothing is important as you think it is when you're thinking about it" - Thinking Fast and Slow
You ever really really want something, get it, and then feel more confused than happy that you don't feel as happy as you thought you would?
I remember when I was 13, I was getting all excited for Christmas again. The new Wii games I was going to get would change my life. When the day finally came, I ripped open all my presents and it was amazing. But three hour later, I was already bored of my new games and felt mostly the same. Actually now I felt worse than the same, because I was supposed to feel better than the same, because it's Christmas!
I always imagined my life before I could kickflip and after as somehow completely different. Once I could kickflip I would really be a skateboarder and it would be so much more fun.
I can kickflip now. Both skateboarding and my life are exactly the same.
This always seems obvious in retrospect, but never beforehand. Why do you think that the next girlfriend, job, car, or success is going to change your life? No matter what you'll be in nearly the exact same situation, with your same self, thoughts, insecurities and habits wondering why everything feels the same. You'll never get there. This is it.
Improved well-being is going to come from internal change not external change. It's obvious but we don't act like it is. There's never going to be a single event in life that will make you permanently happier.
TLDR:
Improved well-being is going to come from internal change not external change. It's obvious but we don't act like it is. There's never going to be a single event in life that will make you permanently happier.
References:
Originally from Wherever You Go There You Are
The Almanack of Naval Ravikant The most common mistake for humanity is believing you’re going to be made happy because of some external circumstance.
There are no external forces affecting your emotions—as much as it may feel that way.
To me, the real winners are the ones who step out of the game entirely, who don’t even play the game, who rise above it. Those are the people who have such internal mental and self-control and self-awareness, they need nothing from anybody else.
All the real scorecards are internal.