I'm not going to change someone else's mind, but I can plant a seed

Humans are especially close-minded when others actively try to change our beliefs.

It's useless and counter-productive to "try to change someone's mind" as we normally think about it. It doesn't matter how strong your evidence or arguments are, you can't force someone to change their beliefs. But you can make it as easy as possible for them to change their own minds.

If you try to change others through force and reason alone people will dig in their heels very fast, and be hesitant to relax their defenses. Saying "there's no empirical evidence of your God and the bible is internally contradictory" to a Christian probably isn't going to change their mind, and will probably make them disregard everything else you say.

"They will sense your strong attachment to your view, the aggression behind your dominating them and enforcing certain beliefs that are only your own and not their truth, and they will know that this not their path but yours." Wherever you go there you are

Instead you can start by fully and genuinely trying to understand someone else non-judgmentally, then, maybe you have something to offer them lightly that would be of genuine interest to them. Did they express doubt and unease in their faith, maybe there's a resource you could point them to, did they tell you how much they love their faith? Then nothing more needs to be said.

It's just that you are not going to change people's minds unless they are willing to let you do so, and it is very rare that someone will let you do so. Otherwise the best you can do is to lightly give a recommendation at the right time when you think it is of genuine interest to someone else. Next time they run into the problem they may ask you for your thoughts, in other words, giving you permission to try to change their mind.

People need time to change their beliefs, and you can't force them to.

I think you actually achieve this best not by asking how can I change this person's mind, but how can I genuinely help this person right now? You simply don't need to (tiny impact for a huge struggle) change their mind.

Everyone knows that it is sort of morally reprehensible to eat meat but nobody does anything about it until they research it themselves, never beacuse their friend tried to force them into it.

Connection to EA

I'm thinking about this because there are certain things I do that I believe others should do. I think it is in most of my friends best interest to start meditating, and I think it is in the world's best interest for most of my friends to start donating more and donate to more effective charities.

But simply directly advocating to my friends would probably be counter-productive. Much better is living my values myself, and giving a light suggestion at the right time.

I think I am far more likely to convince my friends to start donating to effective charities when they decide for themselves they want to donate, aren't sure where, and remember the weird effective altruism stuff I was talking about.

They will not suddenly feel morally obligated to donate to effective charities just because I tell them they should be.

Sending your relatives articles will never change their mind unless they asked for them.

TLDR:

Sending your relatives articles will never change their mind unless they asked for them.

References:

Wherever you go there you are "They will sense your strong attachment to your view, the aggression behind your dominating them and enforcing certain beliefs that are only your own and not their truth, and they will know that this not their path but yours. "

The Precipice Cajoling them about why it is more important than a cause they hold dear is even worse.

Rationality A-Z 1 Map and Territory

tags: #evergreen / #thought /

Formation Date: 2021-04-02